Cult Classics

A cult classic is a movie is a movie that has received a highly dedicated but very specific group of fans. These are the movies that last through the ages because the devoted fans who support them.

The Room-(R)

This guy’s wife is cheating on him. Yeah. But who cares? This is by far, the worst movie I have ever seen in my whole life. It made Dinner For Schmucks look like a masterpiece. That gives you an idea on how terrible it was. The acting? Atrocious. The pacing? It’s like the whole thing was unrehearsed. The directing? There were whole scenes without cutting. The plot? It went nowhere. The transitions? There was a scene in the room, a bridge shot, and then the room again! It made no sense. This movie was terrible. It was unbearably bad. I don’t know how this movie even got produced. Nothing was correct. It’s like 2 plus 2 had a challenged baby, named 5. But you know what? I enjoyed every minute. I haven’t laughed so hard in a while, and this garbage dump of a movie made me crack up. Holy crap, it was so terrible. It has a cult following, too. This group of people get together to watch it, simply to bask in the river of abominations that this movie is. The Room is Catfood. It’s nuts how it could be categorized with Dinner for Schmucks, because it sucks much worse than it, but it is what it is. This is a complete mess. I won’t even post the trailer. Or a picture. Or any facts. Just the most embarrassing lines and scenes for you to witness. I recommend that you watch this movie. It will boost your self-confidence and your ego by ten-thousand fold.

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The Breakfast Club-(R)

This movie is about five high-school students who are stuck in detention on a Saturday. They are all very different: There’s a criminal, the prom queen, the nerd, the jock, and an emo/gothic type chick. This movie describes their day. It sounds like nothing can be achieved or explained in this movie, but there are a ton of lessons to be learned and stories to be told. The three key points to this movie are the characters, humor, and plot. The characters are all very unique, and you understand each of them. They are acted perfectly, and they each bring something to the film. You can pick favorites, but it’s difficult, because you like these guys so much. You don’t like them because they’re fine and dandy people, however. You like them because you can match people you know to each of them, and because they are all extreme. They each have somewhat dark back stories, inner demons that haunt them. But don’t think this is a therapy session of detention. There is a ton of humor that comes from each character, and it will have you laughing constantly. The nerd is hilarious, the criminal is such a punk that it’s funny, and the emo chick is funny in her own, strange way. All of them will make you laugh. The plot is driven by relations between characters, and you enjoy learning more about each of them. This movie stops from the humor at times, allowing for deep moments about morals and reminiscing, but there is always humor to get back to the light-hearted mood that resonates from this film. The Breakfast Club is a laid back, fun Filet. You should check it out. Remember…steak gets better with age.

(Trailer with bad quality. It doesn’t look ancient on your TV, i promise)

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Pulp Fiction (R)

PULP /’palp/ n. 1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass of matter.

2. A magazine or book containing lurid subject matter, and being characteristically printed on rough, unfinished paper.

This is how Pulp Fiction starts. With the definition of the word: Pulp. Is that awesome or what? This occurance foreshadows how different and how individual this movie is going to be. Pulp Fiction is about the lives of two mobster hit-men, a gangster’s wife, a boxer, and two bandits set on robbing a diner. These four stories are told out of order, but they all intertwine. The plot is out of order, and it takes many turns, so the best I could say to explain the plot is this: The lives of these people all connect to each-other, and you get all of their points of views, thus making these four mini-stories mesh together into a movie. The three key points to this legendary crime movie are characters/dialogue, plot, and music. The characters are very interesting. You wouldn’t expect these characters to be the way they are. In a movie like this, dubbed the greatest crime movie of all time, you would expect these gangsters to be tough and angry. By all means, they are tough, but they aren’t constantly cleaning their guns, or talking about their favorite kill, or things of that sort. Instead, they banter on about simple things in life, like burgers and foot massages. For example, at a point when Bruce Willis’s character drives to his apartment in a chopper and tells his girlfriend to get in the back, she asks, “Who’s motorcycle is this?” He replied, “It’s a chopper baby.” She goes, “Who’s chopper is this?” Who does that? The movie’s dialogue and unique characters are so chill. It doesn’t rush, it doesn’t have any cliches, and it’s believable. Because these gangsters don’t act all tough when they’re off duty, you would expect them to seem kind of goofy when they try to act tough, but the truth is, these gangsters are just ordinary, cool guys. I’ll tell you, the dialogue in this movie is more interesting to listen to than the typical Guns and Blades and Redemption and Women discussions in other hitmen movies. To sum it up, the characters are all believable because the acting is top notch, you understand them from first glance, and the dialogue will leave you cleaning out your ears, thinking, Did I really just hear that? If this part of the review alone has convinced you to watch Pulp Fiction, hold the phone. May I add that this movie uses around 256 f-words, as well as a ton of other vulgar words that would make Joe Pesci squirm, and it features some uncomfortable scenes. This is the most solidly Rated R movie I have ever scene, and is definitely not for younger audiences.

The plot is as non-linear as plots can get. Not only does it jump around time, but the events that happen are so uncalled for that you wonder why they happen…and that’s what’s awesome about it. One second a gangster and his boss’s girlfriend are having a milkshake (which they complain about because it’s 5 dollars. How cool is that?) and the next, he has to bring her to his drug-dealer friend to be revived with adrenaline because of a random overdose. The events that happen are so crazy and out of sorts that it creates a whole new feel. With most movies, you can tell where it’s headed, but with Pulp Fiction, you watch it the first time and you have no clue what to expect. The plot births many unforgettable moments and lines that will be remembered forever. Lastly is the music. Music? Yes, music. The music in this movie features many hot tracks and beats. If you actually look at the Pulp Fiction official movie soundtrack, it’s one of the best out there. There are a ton of actual songs, not just compositions, which makes it much more unique and watchable. Over all, Pulp Fiction is a Filet Mignon. See, it’s special not because it’s a violent or awesome…it’s just chill. That’s the best word I can use to describe it. The dialogue and characters and events are what make this movie interesting. You will be watching the credits scrolling down the screen satisfied, because Pulp Fiction is like nothing you’ve seen before. By the way, its cast is star-studded, and I’m sure that many will recognize familiar faces. This Filet is very explicit, but it will remain in history as the best crime movie ever.

Interesting Facts: The Bible verse is partially accurate, but some of it was made up.

The shot of giving Mia a shot was filmed by running the clip backwards after Travolta pulled the syringe out of Mia.

The iconic Pulp Fiction Theme

Royal with Cheese Scene (Contains strong language)

My corny video review

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The Last Samurai-(R)-(Blu-Ray worthy)

This review was requested by GVJPie, and with Tom Cruise’s new movie out, I decided that it would be the perfect time for me to check out this movie. The Last Samurai is about an American battle advisor who goes over to Japan to train the Japanese military, but is captured in battle. When he is captured, he realizes the purity of Japanese culture, though there are many problems along the way. It sounds like this movie is a drama with no action, but there’s plenty of blood and battles. The three key points to this movie are acting, action, and plot. Tom Cruise’s performance as well as everybody else’s was flawless. His character is 100% believable. I never took Tom seriously until this movie. He takes on a serious role, and he makes you believe that what he does happens because he feels it, not because it’s scripted. The other actors weren’t corny at all, as expected when dealing with Asian countries. Come on, the acting in Asian movies suck, and everybody knows it. I could see why this movie got nominated for about 40 awards, and won four Oscars. The action isn’t the slightest bit corny, as expected with a movie dealing with ninjas and samurais, but it is bloody. There is always a purpose to it, however. The fights aren’t thrown out there for nothing. There is always a reason for the fighting or somebody to protect. It isn’t heavily stylized, but it is well choreographed. Your desire for bloodshed on screen will be fulfilled, I promise. The action scenes are needed to break the ice of the slow pace of the movie. Lastly, the plot is very unique. This movie is two and a half hours, and is a lot like the Lord of the Rings, concerning pacing. It’s slow, but there is constantly new things happening and information being given to accelerate the story, all the way until the final battle. Little skirmishes happen in between slow scenes to keep the viewer interested, and it does take a while for the movie to develop, but it’s still very enjoyable. Over all, The Last Samurai is a Filet. It teaches a great moral, it shows the strength and weakness of humans, and the acting and action was believable. Nothing was over the top crazy, which is why this movie exceeded my expectations. This is a movie you should definitely check out.

Interesting Facts: The Last SAMURAI is plural

Ninja Scene

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Gladiator-(R)-(Blu-Ray worthy)

I have seen this movie so many times that it would be a disgrace if I didn’t review it. It’s about Maximus, a Roman general who is betrayed by an emperor’s son, Commodus. He goes to Rome for revenge, as a gladiator. Because he has military experience, he dominates the ring, and becomes a fan favorite instantly. The three key points to this movie are acting, action, and plot. The acting is amazing. Russell Crowe makes you believe that he is a courageous, loyal guy. Though you never see him interact with his family, who he is trying to avenge, you truly feel that he DOES want them to be avenged. Commodus makes a great, twisted villain. He is dark, upset, and angry, and you feel like he really is dangerous, yet cowardly at the same time. All of these traits are unspoken and depicted strictly from observation. The characters are very strong and believable. The action is bloody and brutal, but it isn’t mindless. It has purpose, and there is danger lingering at all times. You don’t believe that Maximus can take on an army, even though he has a strong will and is a great soldier. This makes you feel like there is always danger for Maximus, and the action is very entertaining. Lastly, the plot is easy to follow, deep, and compelling. It takes its time to develop, but action scenes and great acting are dotted throughout the development. Over all, Gladiator is a Filet. If you haven’t seen it by now, you’re missing out. This is one to see.

Interesting Facts: The wounds on Russell Crowe’s face after the opening battle scene are real, from when his horse backed him into tree branches

Maximus was supposed to fight a rhinoceros, but it was too expensive.

Behind the Scenes
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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me-(PG-13)

Yeah baby, yeah! I’ve seen all the Austin Power’s movies, and I love every single one, but my personal favorite is this one, the second in the series. Though it isn’t too new, it’s an instant classic. It is about Austin Powers, who has lost his mojo to…pinky up…Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil has built a time machine to go back to the past, and so has Basil, Austin’s employer. Austin meets Felicity Shagwell, who he works with for the course of the movie. It is the same plot as usual. Dr. Evil threatens the government with a weapon as he demands one million dollars. Or maybe one billion dollars. I’m always confused at what he really wants. It is a comedy, so the plot shouldn’t be taken seriously. The two key points to this movie were characters and comedy. The characters were all unique and lovable. Austin with his odd quotes and 70′s vibe is a great character, and can make anybody laugh. Dr. Evil is one of the funniest characters in all the series. He can never control his twirly chair, he has a great clone, and he is great at annoying his son. Mini Me is revolutionary, and he is more sinister than Dr. Evil. Fat Bastard is fat yet hilarious, even though he shakes that ground when he walks. There are other great characters like Number 2, Frau, and Robin Swallows, but my point is, every time they’re in a scene, they could make you laugh, no matter how corny the joke. Just the way Fat Bastard spits when he yells, and the way Mini-Mi sounds is enough to get you out of breath.

Though there are so many plot holes and rip offs, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter that Mike Myers plays three characters. It just matters that this comedy could make you laugh. I’ve seen this so many times, and it still hasn’t gotten old. This movie is a T Bone, definitely, and it’s hairy like animal.

Interesting facts: This movie made more money on its opening night than the first Austin Powers made in all.

It took 7 hours for Mike Myers to get into the Fat Bastard suit.

When Fat Bastard delivers a package to Austin and Felicity, it says FBD (Fat Bastard Delivery) instead of UPS.