The Meat Scale. This is what I call my Rating System. Why? Because I love meat. It’s important to know how I rate movies, because this whole site uses the Meat Scale. Now, though there are five rankings on the scale, it doesn’t mean that it correlates to star ratings. For example, a Porkchop (the third ranking) isn’t equal to 3 stars. Now that we have that cleared up, let me go through the criteria for the three types of reviews: Movies, video games, and books. Here’s an in depth look at the Meat Scale.
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Movies:
Filet Mignon: This is a movie that you would buy for Blu-Ray to keep, and you could watch it multiple times. It satisfies you to the extreme, either from its thrill, humor, stunts, characters, dialogue, etc.b A Filet is the highest merit a movie can receive.
T-Bone: This is a movie that you would recommend your friends to see. It met your expectations, and you enjoyed it. You may even purchase it on DVD.
Porkchop: This is a movie that you will forget an hour or two out of the theater. You advise your friends not to see it, and it isn’t necessarily bad, but it just isn’t impressive. There’s not much pop. No wow factor. It’s all forgettable and passable.
Hot Dog: Has JUST enough substance to keep it from being Catfood.
Cat Food: Horrible on every level. There is no good quality to it, it is strenuous to watch, and you would like to erase it from you memory.
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Video Games:
Filet Mignon: A lot of content, addictive, and very well done. Few errors. A game you’d whip out at a party.
T-Bone: A fun game, you would recommend it to your friends, but it’s not as polished as a Filet.
Porkchop: A game you could do without. It’s playable, but it doesn’t have enough to make it a game that stands out.
Hot Dog: A game that is horribly executed, with a small amount of content and too tedious of objectives.
Cat Food: Horrible in every way. This game has no explanation of what to do, everything is done poorly, and there seems to be no effort. Frustrating and not enjoyable.
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Books:
Filet Mignon: A book you would purchase for a personal library. You would recommend it. There is a strong quality that attaches you to it. It keeps your attention the whole time
T-Bone: A book with some strong points. You wouldn’t advise anyone not to read it. You read through the whole thing with only a few gripes.
Pork Chop: A book that is lacking. You press for it to be over. There are some flaws that can’t be bypassed.
Hot Dog: Terrible. There is no connection with characters, and it is very, very sketchy. The translation from an idea to paper is beyond poor.
Catfood: Nothing is done right. There is no excitement, there are plot holes…everything that makes writing bad is present.
I hope you learned what my Meat Scale is all about. Do you like it? Any questions about it? Do you have your own rating system? Let me know in the comments below.
~Ddog
