The Meat Scale. How does it work?

How are movies and video games usually rated? Typically with number ratings, star ratings, or word ratings. My opinion on those ratings? Inconclusive, restricted, and flat out boring. Three and a half stars…is that good? Bad? It’s almost four stars, but its near average. I’m lost. It’s too inconclusive. 7 out of 10… That sounds up there, but then again, it’s not high enough. What a vague rating. And word ratings, such as good, excellent, bad, awful, and terrible make me want to take a nap. The solution? I use my own scale of movie and video game ratings, created by my dad and I. It is called the Meat Scale. (We’re meat eaters and meat is always on our minds. What can I say?)

The Meat Scale is a scale of five different ratings, each with its own philosophies and classifications. Though I have the meat scale on top of every page with one sentence descriptions, I decided to elaborate the scale. Let’s start from the bottom.

Cat Food- This movie/game a complete waste of money and time, and it leaves you feeling dumb, cheated, or in awe at its pointlessness. This is total 100% garbage.

Hot Dog- This movie/game is flat out bad, but it has a part or two that is decent. Nearly a full waste of time, but can’t be put with the complete underdogs.

Porkchop- This movie/game is average. It is OK, but you wouldn’t watch or play it again. It was partially enjoyed, but you would not recommend or consider watching/playing it again. Easily forgettable.

T-Bone- This is a very good movie/game, one that you could watch twice or keep playing. It has a lot of content and was enjoyed for its first time.

Filet Mignon- This movie/game is one of three things. First, it could be a movie or game that sets the bar or signals a change in its industry. Second, it could be a movie or game that you could watch/play over and over and over and still enjoy it. Lastly, it could be a movie or game that is straight out awesome. Not necessarily the best, but will be remembered and enjoyed for years and years.

Now that you know the Meat Scale, check out my reviews and see what meats I use for your favorites. (or rather your least favorites.)

~DDog

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