Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another installment of Women Wednesday. This is the weekly series where I give advice about women. As most of you know, this is intended to be fun. I do not claim to be some love doctor or relationship guru. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this week’s Women Wednesday post.
This week we will be talking about breakups. The two parts of a breakup include the breakup itself and the aftermath. I will tell you how to approach both. Let’s start with the breakup.
There are times where you are eating a steak and thinking: Wow. This is the best steak I have ever had. Everything about it is perfect. But then you go back to the same restaurant and try the steak again. You don’t find it thrilling anymore. You are more calm and more critical about this steak. A thought crosses your mind. Maybe that first steak wasn’t so great. Whatever the reason may be, you want to push this steak aside.
Just the same, you may want to initiate a breakup. There is a proper way to do it, however. All breakups will include some kind of emotional pain, but there is a way to minimize the hurt, sparing yourself and your girl. The way to break up is to follow the Campground Rule. The Campground Rule is a popular term that is thrown around, but is unfortunately rarely followed. What the Campground Rule states is this: When ending a relationship, you must leave your girlfriend in the same condition or better than when you got together.
In other words, when breaking up, make sure that there is no harm done to your girlfriend. If she is in a state that is worse than when you met, you have done something wrong. How to break up with a girl without violating the Campground Rule is quite simple, if you play your cards correctly.
One important thing to know is that breaking up in any other way than in person is a mistake. There are two reasons why this is a terrible idea. First, if you break up with a girl through text, chat, or through a friend, she is going to be upset and confused. If you are told through email that your favorite steak, the Filet Mignon, is going to taken off of the menu at your favorite Steakhouse, you will be upset, and likely be feeling neglected. But if you walk into the Steakhouse and the owner shakes your hand, sits down with you, and explains his decision, things are much smoother. You understand. You can see where he is coming from. It is a sad event, but it has ended maturely and with proper closure. If you break the news to your girlfriend in person, and sit down and talk to her about it, it is more genuine and fulfilling. If you tell her in person, the girl has little to no questions as to “why” and “what did I do wrong?” If you simply let her know the situation and why things are not working, she should understand. But you can’t simply think in terms of this one relationship. News of break ups spread fast. The method of which the guy broke up with his girlfriend is known to everyone. If a girl finds out that you broke up with your girlfriend through text, which she will, she will be less willing to give you a chance. I guarantee you that.
So break ups have to be personal and calm. Being upset at the girl is no way to break off the relationships. Remember, you want to keep this girl in the same or better condition than when you met her. So now that we discussed how to break up with a girl, let’s talk about how to deal with the breakup emotionally. The aftermath.
Relationships end in three ways: Relief, sadness, or hate.
If your relationship ends and you feel relieved, everything is alright. This girl was clearly not a match for you, or you wouldn’t feel relieved. If you are relieved after backing out of a relationship, everything is alright. You can go right on ahead and carry on with life.
If your relationship ends in sadness because of your deep attraction for the girl, it’s alright. There are plenty more fish in the sea. BUT DDOG! That girl was my Nemo. I don’t want a different fish! I once thought that Filet Mignon was the only good quality steak out there. But do you know what happened? I slapped myself and ate a T-Bone. And it was good. I ate a Porkchop. And it was good. I ate a Ribeye. And it was good. My point is, there is always going to be somebody else. The key thing, however, is to give yourself some time to breath. You and your ex are going to be upset for a while, but the sense of loss will pass with time, and even quicker if you followed the Campground Rule.
If a relationship ends in hate, there is something wrong. Drama will likely erupt, fights will break out, and it will soil your experience with your ex. The key to avoiding an aftermath full of hate is this: Follow the Campground Rule. If you simply break up with your girlfriend in a very straight-forward and sure way, she WILL understand. She will be sad for a while, but there is no damage in the long run. She isn’t full of hatred. She doesn’t hate the male species. She doesn’t want to turn all of your friends against you. She is alright.
Thank you all so much for reading. Please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below. Have a great day!