Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you another installment of Women Wednesday. This is the weekly series where I give advice about women through meat analogies and humor. To the women out there reading this, stick around. Maybe you can tell me in the comments below if I am right or wrong, and provide your advice to the guys. Without any further delay, here is Women Wednesday.
This week I’m going to be focusing on 3 of the 5 Languages of Love. A Language of Love is a way of expressing love. Allow me to list them off:
- Quality Time
Most women respond to one or two of these languages more than the others. Before I can explain these 5 Languages, however, you must first know why knowing the Languages of Love is important. Let’s assume that you don’t live in Portugal. Now imagine that you fly to Portugal and end up in a Portuguese steakhouse. You want to order the Filet Mignon, but you speak English. Your waitress asks what you would like, but you cannot understand her. You use hand gestures and motions to ask for someone who speaks English. The Portuguese woman brings a waitress who speaks Spanish. Unfortunately, you weren’t very smart and decided to take German in highschool, so you are unable to have a steak for the whole time you are in Portugal. That sounds like a nightmare. This is why knowing the Languages of Love is important.
If you can place what Language your girlfriend or the girl you likes “speaks,” you have a much better chance at creating/sustaining a relationship. Let’s start with the first Language: Words.
If your girlfriend, or the girl you have your eye on, speaks the Language of words, it means that she responds well and feels the most love when it is projected through words. A ‘Word’ girl is the type who is ultimately flattered by compliments and verbal projections. This is the type of chef who is driven by compliments on her steak. If she is told that it is good, she will feel like her cooking is great. She is warmed by your words. She is the type of girl who takes compliments on her outfit to heart. Instead of deflecting the compliment and questioning whether she is beautiful or not, she will believe you. She thrives on knowing how you feel and communicating with you. Hearing things come from you makes her feel loved more than any gift or action.
But what if Words aren’t your preferred Language? Too bad. This girl isn’t going to learn Portuguese just because you want her to. She is going to speak Spanish for the rest of her life. If you can’t handle that, then it’s your loss. But if you are willing to learn Spanish so you can communicate with her and make her feel loved, you need to know how to use words effectively.
I have went over how to talk to girls in the past, so my new advice to you would be this: Avoid pickup lines. When you are with a girl, spewing a couple of pickup lines could be a flirty thing of yours, but if you are trying to win a girl over, don’t use them. A ‘Words’ girl wants personal, deep, truthful thought, not common pickup lines. Here are some to avoid:
I lost my number, can I have yours?
I’m like chocolate pudding: I look like crap but I’m sweet.
Life without you would be like life with a broken pencil: pointless.
Those were pretty bad. So avoid pickup lines. Let’s move on. The next Language is Quality Time. A girl who cherishes quality time the most is one who wants to spend time with you. Just you and her. She feels most loved when she is all that you are focusing on. A ‘Quality Time’ girl is like a chef who puts time and effort into cooking her steak. She feels that her steak will taste and look better if she spends a lot of time perfecting her methods and working with the meat. If she is with that steak all day, she is applying a lot of love to it. All the same, if your girl is really into spending one-on-one time with you, or the girl you are interested in seems to be a one-on-one type, learn to cater to her needs. If she would rather hang with you than with a group, make a change.
But there is one thing that you must understand: This girl wants Quality Time, not Time. If you are with her 24/7, the feeling goes from love to friendship. If you want friendship, then it’s your lucky day. If not, make every moment you spend with her significant, and keep a gap of communication. If she is a ‘Quality Time’ girl, she wants that time. She will starve for it. So you can’t be talking to her all day. She can’t be given the meat right away. She has to munch on some appetizers first.
The next and final Language that we will discuss this week is ‘Receiving.’ This is a girl who feels most loved when she gets gifts. This may sound like a girl who is materialistic, but don’t get it twisted. A girl who speaks ‘Receiving’ is one who feels the most love when she is given a gift. She isn’t thrilled because she has a new necklace, but because she has a new necklace that is coming from you. The fact that you put thought and effort into getting the gift is what makes her feel special. A girl who speaks ‘Receiving’ is like a chef who has gotten new tools. She was given a grill and a couple of steak knives. She isn’t happy because she got the tools to improve her kitchen inventory, but because somebody took time out of their day and got her something that they know she needs. See what I mean? Some people feel that actions speak louder than words. This is why some girls are more flattered by getting gifts rather than words. If you are using flattering words when your girlfriend is a ‘Receiving’ girl, it’s a problem. There is a language conflict. You are speaking Japanese and she is speaking Swahili. It just doesn’t match up.
If your girl does happen to be a ‘Receiving’ type, you must be sure to avoid one thing: spoiling her. If your girlfriend keeps getting presents and money and jewelry from you, she will begin to see more than your love. She will start see your wallet. That is not a good girlfriend, it’s a good…well…Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx can tell you. Yes, that was a cue to go to Youtube and type that in. For the record, I don’t listen to Kanye West. In fact, I despise him. But let’s get back on track.
So you can give gifts, but don’t give this girl expensive things every week. If she doesn’t feel the spark any longer, she could feel tempted to stay around longer for some extra bank. I am simply being completely honest. Ladies, don’t be offended.
So this week we talked about 3 Languages of Love: Words, Quality Time, and Receiving. Pinpointing what your girlfriend or crush “speaks” can really help you develop and sustain and connection. Next Wednesday we will talk about the other two Languages: Service and Touch. Did I help you? Did I explain clearly enough? Guys, leave your thoughts below. Ladies, feel free to comment as well. Your feedback especially helps me improve my Women Wednesday posts. Thanks so much for reading!