Women Wednesday #7: Being a Middle Man

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Women Wednesday. If you’re new to Gamerscene and are wondering what this is, allow me to explain. Women Wednesday is the series in which I give advice about women. Am I qualified to do this? Not in the slightest. I watch movies and review them. That’s where my expertise ends. But it was you, the viewers, who voted for me to do this, and so I am rolling with it. I use meat analogies to explain my opinions, and I hope you can take away some quality advice after reading these posts. If you want to offer your own advice or critique mine in the comments below, please feel free to do so. I love to hear from you guys.

Without any further day, let’s go into this week’s topic: Being the middle man.

DDOG! WHAT’S A MIDDLE MAN?

Don’t fret, invisible voice. I will explain. The middle man is the person who intrudes regulates a relationship in which at least one of their friends is in…typically a female friend.

When a close female friend has a new boyfriend, many guys feel the need to be protective. They want to be a mediator. They want to be a middle man. I’m here to tell all of you guys that if you want to be an unspoken middle man, tread carefully.

I am the type of guy who strongly believes that a relationship should include no third person. It is nobody’s business what goes on between the guy and the girl. It seems like now, however, there is no privacy. Guys need to play macho men and be a sort of protector for their girl friends. Guys, don’t fall into this trap.

Think about this. You are dining at a fancy restaraunt. The place smells great, the service is flawless, and your fork is shining as if it were never used. Then you are served your Filet. You are trying to enjoy it and get a feel for it, but then the owner of the restaraunt approaches you and asks, “How’s your steak?” You smile and say that it is delightful. The owner leaves you to eat your meal. Two minutes later, he comes back and asks if it is salted correctly. Two minutes after that, he asks you if it was cooked to your liking. And every couple of minutes, he comes and intrudes upon your meal. A meal that was verging on perfect was ruined by the owner: The middle man. He was the only thing coming in between you and your steak.

This is exactly how your female friend will feel about you if you keep intruding in her relationship. I get that you want to watch out for your female friend. I get that you don’t want her to get hurt by the guy she is with. But if you keep on being nosey or shady in the ways that you find out the status of her relationship, she won’t see you as a good friend. She will see you as being jealous. Jealousy is a whole other topic, however.

If you have concerns that your friend’s relationship is impacting her negatively, you have a right to talk to her about it. I’m not trying to outlaw that right. But you can’t consider her business to be yours.

Imagine yourself as being a steakhouse owner. Every day, a manager that works below you comes in and starts to look over the restaraunt’s bills. He sits at your desk and starts getting the pay ready for all of the employees. You would be flustered, in awe, and offended. Your manager is treating your business as his. This is how your female friend will feel if you intrude in her business. It is HER business, not yours.

You need to have a trust and a respect towards your friend that she will make the right decisions. If you feel she isn’t making beneficial choices, you can discuss it with her, but if you’re the guy bringing up problems to her every week, she will see you as being jealous rather than a guy who actually cares for her.

When she is in this relationship, talk to her about normal things. Talk to her as if this boyfriend of hers never came into her life. Don’t ignore the fact that she’s taken, simply stay relatable. Don’t let this guy of hers throw you off of normal conversation. If you remain her friend when she’s with another guy, you can sustain your friendship with her. When the relationship ends, which it will, you will be glad that you didn’t intrude. When she looks back at her time with this boyfriend and how you handled it, she will value you more and respect you more for giving her space and trusting her.

The bottom line is this: If a female friend of yours is in a relationship, being a middle man isn’t a good choice.

Do you have any suggestions for next week’s Women Wednesday? If so, leave a comment below with your recommended topics. Also, let me know what you thought of this post. Thanks for reading!

~Ddog

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