Women Wednesday #8: Valentine’s Day Special: Pickup Lines

Tomorrow is a very special day. Either you’ll be spending the day with your significant other or you’ll be listening to this song while stuffing your face with chocolates while watching the Notebook.

I don’t want you to have to listen to that song. In honor of Valentine’s Day, this post is going to be free of meat analogies and entirely made of pickup lines. I will bold my favorites, but understand that none of these lines are guaranteed to work. Some may give actually hurt your efforts to find a woman. But it may be so worth it. Share this list with your friends, whether they’re taken or single. They may find this post amusing. Here we go.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you.

Babe, are you size 6 font? Because you’re fine.

If being sexy were a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.

Excuse me, can I have directions? (Where?) To your heart.

Can I take a picture of you? (Why?) So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Babe, you must be a broom, because you sweep me off my feet.

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?

Can I have a band-aid? I hurt myself when I fell for you.

Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way away from here.

You must be Jamaican, because Ja makin’ me crazy.

Are you an alien? Because you abducted my heart.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.

Hey baby, I might have to call Jesus, because I think he lost one of his angels.

In my eyes, you’re a library, because I’m definitely checking you out.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U together.

Life without you would be like life with a broken pencil: pointless.

Hey baby, can I check your pockets? I believe that you stole my heart.

I’m like chocolate pudding: I look like crap but I’m sweet as can be.

Is your dad an astronaut? It appears to me that he took the stars and put them in your eyes.

Do you like water? (Yes.) Then you already like 75% of my body.

You’re so sweet that I’m getting cavities.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you’re the bomb.

You’re so sweet that you could put Hershey’s out of business.

I just ate some Skittles. Would you like to taste the rainbow?

You’re so beautiful that I forgot my pickup line.

This should be plenty. Let me know what your favorite pickup line is and suggest some of your own. Happy Valentine’s Day!

~Ddog

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