Safe Movie Review


“I never know what to say in these moments.”

“In what moments?”

“The moments before I kill somebody.” *Inserts fork into man’s throat*

Safe is another Jason Statham movie, and it reminds me why he was in the Expendables.

Safe is about Mei, a girl who can basically remember anything. She is wanted by the Chinese and the Russians, as well as the cops, because she has memorized a code for a safe. She is thrown into this criminal business unwillingly, after being taken at a young age. Statham encounters her and wants to protect her from the cops, the Russians, and the Chinese. Thus our movie begins.

The two key points to this movie are the script and the action. The script includes lines like those displayed at the beginning of this post. It’s a bunch of cheese and weird wording, but it works. It doesn’t deter from the movie. Instead, it grounds what it is: an action movie. This script is quite choppy at times, there is no doubt about that. Plot lines are dropped, and some things happen that you don’t quite believe, but you frankly don’t care. Statham’s character is such a bad-ass that you accept this whole wild goose chase. This is mainly because of the action.

The action in this movie is awesome. Statham does ridiculous things throughout the film. His fighting moves consist of cannon balling into enemies, throwing plates, and using subway poles as nut busters  Excuse the heavy description. That’s the only way I can describe it. Ouch is all I can say.

Every bullet that was fired from Statham’s pistols sounded hard and real. There was something about the gunshots that sounded really good. I thoroughly enjoyed every action scene in this film. It isn’t the typical fist fight. Instead, there are moves and factors here and there that spice things up, mainly Statham’s cannon balling and whatnot. Rice is rice, but once you add some spice, it becomes curry.

I had a great time with this movie, and there are some scenes that I likely won’t get out of my head for a very long time. Over all, Safe is a very fatty Porkchop. If you want some quality action and a passable story, this is one to check out. I have to go eat a steak. I’m going to ask for an extra fork. What I will do with that fork is not yet determined.



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