Juck’s Thoughts on A View to a Kill

I’m in the process of watching every Bond movie, from the first to the most recent. I will be giving my thoughts on each film as I go along. Not many people have seen every Bond film, and so I feel that this should be an interesting journey. Let’s get started!

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At this point, I feel like I am sifting through elephant dung with my bare hands. Yes, I am that frustrated.

I began this series because I wanted to witness the evolution of Bond. I wanted to experience the Connery era. I wanted to see how that one guy did as Bond that one time. I wanted to see the gadgets. I wanted to hear the music. I wanted to watch the title sequences. I wanted to watch Bond. A View to a Kill was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I am the camel, for those who can’t figure it out.

We begin this movie with a horrendous song by Duran Duran. Horrendous. Horr-en-dous. Absolutely horrendous. People are complaining about Sam Smith’s recently released song for Spectre, a song that is the Last Supper when compared with this horrendous piece of cave art. Here, suffer with me.

A View to a Kill seems to be a parody at many points. The destruction of the taxi that Bond carjacks is absurd, as is the taxi driver who he carjacks. The production line scene is absurd. Mayday and Mayday’s encounter with Bond is absurd. The racetrack traps are absurd. The check duplicator gadget is absurd. The gadget glasses are entirely pointless. The Molotov cocktail being thrown into the elevator shaft is absurd. The entire ordeal was absurd.

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Yes, this was an actual prop for the movie. An actual prop.

Unlike the previous two films, this movie had flavor. That is, the flavor of spoiled milk.

The two positive qualities retained by a View to a Kill include the the score, which was dramatic and more extensive than that of previous films, and the chemistry between Bond and Tibbett. That’s all.

80’s Bond has tortured me endlessly. Thankfully, because God is merciful, this is the last Moore film of the franchise. I have enjoyed Roger Moore as Bond, but once the 80’s era came around, the Moore installments became dreadful. The series needs a fresh start. Though my back is broken, I am ready to go back into the desert with hopes that Timothy Dalton’s first installment is an oasis of water. 8o’s Bond is 0 for 3. Let’s get this series back on track. Please.

~Juck

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